Heartbreaker: One Shot Story
by no-comment-carissa
Summary: James Potter had been the happy teenager, but he his sould soon started to fade. He felt empty and angry...yet he knew it was his fault.rnRated R for Cutting and maybe some swearing.


James Potter had long black hair, with bangs that covered his eyes when he let his head fall, his hair went passed his ears in total length giving off a mysterious look. He had on a pair of black converse, wearing a longsleeve black shirt and blue jeans. James' hazel eyes were cold and full of ice. He needed someone to love him. And that person was Lily Evans. James had, and he knew it for sure now, loved Lily since second year. And now...he just had to make up for what she thought he was, an arrogant, rule breaking, self absorbed, jock that hexed anyone in the halls that he passed. James never did that without a reason, sure he did it once..but it was Snivellus! To him that didn't matter. Nothing mattered to him except Lily. But yet he couldn't have her because of what she thought about him on the outside. James couldn't stop. He couldn't bleive that she wouldn't give him a chance. James Potter couldn't stop cutting. He had no other way to escape, it felt so right. Lily wasn't the only reason why he cut himself, hell no. Thats not a reason. James Potter also cut himself because of Mark and Jetta Potter. Jetta was the one against mudbloods. Yes. Against them. Mark was the one for them, but he had to stand behind his wife and agree with what she thought, did or said. Jetta hated mudbloods, or muggleborns. Which means, Lily was a "Bad seed." as she would put it. James couldn't stand his step mother. Yes. Stepmother. Margarrett was his real mother, but she died on the job as an auror. Ever since then James wasn't the same. Jetta was one reason, his Father for not backing HIM up was another, Lily Evans for not loving him the way he loved her was a reason, and because he was confused about his life. He thought that cutting the pain away was better, it just put better meaning into pain. It was almost soulful to him. James carried a small, yet useful pocket knife with him wherever he went, in his pant leg pocket. It was slightly stained red on the blades edge from all the cutting he had been doing for the past year. Sitting on a ledge over looking the Lake while the Giant Squid was below catching fish or whatnot. Thinking was also good for him.  
"PRONGS! Prongs mate, finally found you." Sirius said sounding abit winded as he approached. Sirius also had black hair, but it was much longer, and had silver gray orbs. He wore a blue shirt and baggy black jeans with black and white converse. "Whatcha up to"  
"Thinking." James replied slightly dryly. "About stuff." "Lily Evans maybe?" Sirius prodded.  
James nodded and set his head in his palms, "Who'm I kidding Padfoot? Why would she like me? C'mon I'm such a jerk sometimes"  
Sirius sighed, "Mate, I don't think she even tried to get to know you." he complied, "It's sad, I know. But maybe you didn't give her much of a chance either-I'm not saying you haven't mate!" Sirius added when James' head shot up and his mouth gaped open to disagree. "Lily only knows the outside of you. She doesn't know the inside you, the one that us Marauders know and love"  
James exhaled a large amount of air, "What do I do Sirius?" he blinked and grinned, "Thats odd"  
Sirius frowned, "What is"  
"I'm asking Sirius Black for advice." James replied and playfully punched Sirius' shoulder.  
"Oh thanks James that really gives me confidence." Sirius replied downheartedly.  
James' smile quickly vanished, "I'm sorry Sirius. I didn't think you'd take me seriously..." James bit his lip to stop laughing from the pun.  
Sirius rolled his eyes, "Yes..well anyways, maybe you should let Lily come to you, or you could just..be you. And not try to impress her or charm her. I know that sounds hard mate...but it'll work. It works for Remus"  
James shrugged in response, "I suppose"  
Sirius sighed, "Come on James lets go." he stood and held out a hand to James to help him up. James reluctantly took Sirius's hand then brushed himself off, and they two boys started to walk up the hill.  
As usual Lily Evans sat under a large willow tree, sucking on the end of a stained glass quill-pen. Her red hair cascaded down her shoulder in silky little ringlets, her green eye lids trying to shut as she kept on working in the sunshine. "Damn potions..." she cussed and angrily slammed her potions book shut and threw it.  
James looked up just in time to see the black leather book hurtling towards him and caught it, he opened it and engraved into the left wing of the book were the emerald green words, "Lily Evans." his heart raced, "Lily..." he let his fingers trace around her very pretty penmenship and gave Sirius an odd look and Sirius nodded, "Go give it back. We're over a hill mate, it's pretty hard to throw a book over a hill and aim at the person you hate"  
James frowned but quickly ascended the hill and descened it and walked towards Lily, bending down, "Umm...ya I believe this is yours." he replied handing Lily her potions book.  
Lily looked up, she saw James, it just didn't register to her for about five seconds, "JAMES POTTER GET AWAY FROM ME!" she screeched.  
James flew back onto the grass, "Lily I was just giving your book back!" he replied, "I didn't know that would aggravate you sorry.." he said and quickly got up, "I guess I should leave, I don't want the Ice Queen to give me the cold shoulder." he spat and quickly ran off.  
At about that time Sirius appeared and looked at Lilys angry look and blinked, "James was just giving you your book back what the hell did you do now?" he asked angrily.  
Lily blinked and started to stutter, "Well I uh...He handed me my book and I saw him I just didn't 'see' him and when I did I told him to get away from me and he fell back and was like, I was giving you your book back! I didn't know that would aggravate you...sorry and he said he should leave...and that he wouldn't want the Ice Queen to give him the cold shoulder. And then...he just left..." Lily looked down at the grass swaying from the winds.  
Sirius glared for a moment longer and then said, "Lily-do you know how much you hurt James...even when you glare at him?" Lily frowned, "What?" Sirius gave a false bark laugh, "Yes Lilikins Evans! What? Are you speechless for once in your life? Huh? Come on tell me, Lilikins, you may come first to James, but James comes first to me, he's my best mate. You hurt him, you hurt me." he spat back, "AND Miss Evans, I think you should apologized to James for being a frigid Ice Queen, James is right, he wouldn't want you to give him to the cold shoulder now would he huh"  
Lily had tears in her eyes, "Frigid Ice Queen eh? You'll see, Meet me in the Great Hall in ten minutes and you bring Potter with you. I want you to see something." she spat back and quickly gathered her things and ran.  
Sirius glared, "FINE! YOU RUN FROM YOUR PROBLEMS!" he shouted back.  
Lily just flipped him off.  
Back to James-  
James blinked back the tears as he slowly brought the pocket knife to his arm and cut the initials L.E. in to his arm. Just another reminder to keep away from the girl of his dreams. He had torn of his black shirt and started to cut...He only cut twice, LE+JP but as much as he tried to make himself believe it would happen, he knew it wouldn't. Life didn't like him like that. His head shot up as he heard foot falls coming up behind him and he quickly ran to the bathroom, cleaned his knife off as much as possibly, then cleaned his arm off, then quickly put his shirt back on whiping the ever so present retched tears away.  
"Mate-Evans wants us. Says she wants to show us something in the Great Hall. Bet you anything that she's just going to be a Frigid Ice Queen again." Sirius' voice came.  
James let out a fake chuckle, "Ya alright...I'll be there. Just a second." he replied and quickly messed up his hair a little more and then walked out.  
Sirius gave him an odd look, "Mate...you've got like...red stuff on your fingers"  
James was awestruck, Shit...shit..damn...oh god. "I was messing around with red paint and stuff for the next prank on Snivellus." he lied smoothly. Sirius grinned, "Brilliant"  
James nodded and didn't bother to shut the door, he washed his hands and walked out, "Lets jet." he replied.  
Sirius nodded, "God whats up Evans"  
James growled, "Sirius shut up. It's my problem not yours"  
Sirius' hands shot up in mock defeat, "Sorry mate"  
James didn't say anything, he merely nodded and quickly decsended the boys dorm stairs and out the portrait.  
Sirius sighed, his mate didn't talk much these days, and when he did it was either about Lilikins, Pranks, school, or Moony. As they went down the corridors of the Great Hall, they saw Lily grabbed the handles of the Great Hall doors and with great force open them, her wand in hand.  
Sirius blinked and looked at James who was in a slight daze, "James...James mate." he said shaking James a bit.  
James shot up, "What?" "Come on." Sirius said eyeing him oddly. James nodded and walked into the Great Hall and instantly stopped. Sirius came in after him and gaped. Lily Evans was rasing her wand to Hogwarts and all around her was the Graffiti that the Marauders had written on the Great Hall walls about Lily, they were in the exact places and Lily had tears in her eyes. The writing hurt her more than anything.  
"Evans is an Ice Queen"  
"Evans is a book worm"  
"Miss Evans- The Ice Storm of the century"  
"WATCH OUT! EVANS IS COMING"  
"EVANS-Will your go out with me"  
"Go out with me"  
And so many more and then Lily summoned a projector and tapped it with her wand and a scene started to vicisouly play.  
A little Lily was seated at the Gryffindor table reading a book when James came up and turned her hair pink with blue polka dots. Next Scene.  
James came up behind Lily while she was sitting at the edge of the Lake and came up behind her, "Ahh it's Evans isn't it! My lord! My good luck it is then!" James replied and walked up to Lily and Sirius came up behind James and took out his wand and muttered a few mumbled incantations and above Lily appeared a dark cloud, and snow started to fall. Next Scene.  
Lily was leaning against a tree thinking to herself and James came up and started talking to her in some French and she blinked, "Escuse me?" she asked. "Volonté d'Evans de lis vous sortez avec moi? Je sais que vous m'aimez, je signifiez... qui ne pourrait pas?" James replied sweetly, grinning. Lily glared and took out her wand, "Say it in Englisih you great prat." James grinned even more, "Lily Evans will you go out with me? I know you love me, I mean...who couldn't?" Lily glared, "Oh really?" James nodded and Sirius came up behind Lily and took out his wand once again and mumbled more incantations and the words, "I love James, he's a sexy beast." came up on to the back of her robes. Sirius nodded and James nodded back, "Sorry Evans but I gotta jet." Girls all around Lily started to laugh and point at her. Next Scene.  
Lily was in the common room, watching the flames late at night when James and Sirius appeared and raised theirs wands to her and they summoned her top robes, and her skirt, then her shirt and James threw Lily his shirt and his boxers. Lily frowned, and lowered her head and tears started to fall, "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? HAVE YOU NO DECENCY? THIS IS THE LOWEST YOU HAVE EVER GOTTEN HOW COULD YOU? TAKING MY CLOTHES AND GIVING ME YOUR OWN TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE I SLEPT WITH YOU! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" Lily screamed. End scenes. The scenes just kept replaying themselves.  
"COME ON POTTER! BLACK! GIVE IT TO ME! IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN'T CAUSE ME ANYMORE PAIN!" Lily screamed at James and Sirius, "So come on! I know you can think of something! Go ahead! Do your worst I'm ready!" Lily said hysterically.  
James gaped, and Sirius's head fell, his black hair fell into his cold grey eyes and they started to cloud over with shame. James' mouth closed and his eyes started to water and he felt like a baby, he didn't want to cry infront of the girl he loved. Lily's anger, hate, and embarrassment boiled inside of her. "Look around you guys! Look! LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE"  
she screamed and gave a false smile, "OH! AND YOU CAN HAVE THESE BACK!" she shouted and summoning James' shirt and boxers and throwing them at his chest. "Have them"  
James' head started to shake vigorously and she took the clothes and slammed them onto the ground, the tears escaping. He raised his wand at Lily and then dropped it. He shook his head again and ran to the opposite side of the Great Hall, grabbing the tables and taking the vanishing charm off of the words that had were so handsomely cold, but still burnt into his heart have three years. "JAMES POTTER I HATE YOU! YOU ARE THE EPITOME OF A MAN WHORE!" were the words written onto the Gryffindor Table, of course Lily had gotten two weeks detention. But to her, she had said to James's FACE, "IT WAS WORTH IT!" she had screamed at him.  
James shoved the table over into Lily's own face, "Hows that Evans huh?" he asked.  
Then he grabbed his wand off of the floor and zapped the projector and his own memories came back.  
James sat at the Gryffindor table, eating his breakfast talking to Sirius and Remus when Lily comes up, kisses him and then slaps him. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" James yelled at Lily. Next Scene.  
James sat in the common room, reading a book by the fireplace when Lily came up, she raised her wand at him and wrote, "I AM A SELFISH PIG!" on his shirt. Then raised her wand to his hair and muttered a spell and it went to pink with purple stripes, it started to grow until it was in Porcupine spikes.  
"THAT LASTED FOR THREE WEEKS!" he shouted, "YOURS LASTED FOR TWO DAYS!" Next scene. James, Sirius and Remus were also outside and Lily comes up and writes PLAY on James shirt, and ERS on Sirius's shirt. End Scenes. They also replayed themselves, then new ones appeared and they were the same scenes over.  
"I HATE YOU JAMES POTTER"  
"GO AWAY I HATE YOU"  
"NO I WILL NEVER GO OUT WITH YOU"  
"YOUR AN INFUFFERABLE JERK! I HATE YOU GO AWAY"  
James had tears streaming down his cheeks and he felt weak, like his heart had been a piece of paper and was torn in to a million shreds. "See...You've done millions of things to me as revenge and you know...they rip me apart piece by piece...Atleast when I did those pranks..I wasn't meaning to hurt you in anyway I was just trying to have some fun. But your 'pranks' were targeted at me and you succeeded Lily Evans, you succeeded in tearing me apart and ripping me up." James said to Lily.  
Sirius was long gone. He figured that he had nothing to do with it and he didn't want to be apart of it.  
Lily also had tears in her eyes and down her cheeks, and on her shirt. "You have no idea how much embarrassment"  
"YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH HEARTBREAK YOU HAVE CAUSED ME!" James shouted. "You have never even given me the chance to be the person I know you'll love. But you don't get me the chance because you think I'll hurt you. Well guess what Evans? All those girls I dated, HA I only dated seven, AND I dumped them all for the same reasons, because they weren't you! They didn't act like you, they didn't smell like you, they didn't sound like you...They just...weren't...EVEN CLOSE to being you!" James shouted. "NOTHING could come close to you! But you don't care! You don't care because all you care about is the past! You dwell on it and so do I"  
Lily blinked, James was right, she hadn't given him a second thought. And she did dwell on the past.  
"How do I know your telling the truth Potter?" Lily asked.  
James blinked, astonished, "The truth? You want the truth?" he asked.  
Lily nodded, "Yes!" James took in a deep breathe and took off his long sleeve black shirt. "There. Proof." he shouted, "You like it? Is it enough for you huh"  
Lily gasped and walked towards him, "James..." she whisperd, "What were you thinking? You could have killed yourself"  
James laughed harshly, "Yeah so? It's not like the only person I lived for would care"  
Lily looked into James' lifeless brown eyes, then went back to James' arm and traced all the scars that had the same curvings. LE...LP...LEP...LE+JP...JP+LP.  
James flinched as her slightly cold fingers traced the scars. Then Lily found the newest one, the one of today. "Oh god.." Lily put her hand to her mouth and looked at James' face.  
"Does..does anyone else know?" she asked. "Tsh-no. Not even Sirius or Remus. Or Dumbledore for that matter. And if you tell anyone I swear I'll obliterate you so fast your head'll spin." he said harshly.  
Lily's eyes watered again and she started to gush words out, "IM SORRY! IM SORRY!...I CAN'T-I can't believe I hurt you more than I thought...oh merlin..." she whispered and didn't even bother waiting for James to speak but pulled him into a huge hug. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." Lily sobbed.  
James instinctively wrapped his arms tightly around Lily and let his head touch hers as he hugged her back, "I'm sorry too..shh...shhh I know...I'm sorry...shhh..." Lily hugged James so tightly he though he was going to suffocate. "Lily...Lily...I love you but please...I'm uh...I can't breathe.." Lily stepped back and looked back at James once more. "Im sorry!" she whispered frantically.  
James shook his head, "No no! Calm down it's ok..." he whispered. Lily shook her head, "NO it's not! I hurt you more than...I didn't even need two! Two wrongs don't make a right...I knew that and I still did it...And I hurt you...emotionally..twenty times more than you hurt me"  
James shook his head, "No Lily shut up ok"  
Lily kep on raving and James couldn't take it anymore, "Lily-Lily"  
James sighed and, bravely, leaned in and captured her in the most passionate kiss he could ever give her. Lily spaced out and then wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. James felt like heaven had actually touched earth...bliss..pure bliss.  
When James finally broke apart from her Lily moaned, "No...please." she whispered.  
"Lily listen to me...I love you...but...your...your emotionally distressed...we both are..and I completely took advantage of you"  
Lily shook her head, "NO! NO YOU DIDN'T!" she replied, "I've actually...liked...you...since...fourth...year..." she said blushing.  
James nodded, "Ok...I'm new to this...so..umm then..will you.." he shook his head to get his bangs from his eyes, "Go out with me?" he asked.  
Lily blinked and stared at him, then kissed him, which knocked him into the stone walls and that drove him crazy.  
James kissed her back, all the pain starting to gently fade away as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. Lily complied but grew short of breath and pulled her head away, panting.  
James' eyes were closed and his head still lingered in the same spot. "No"  
"No what?" Lily asked.  
"You pulled back." James replied, "Thats not fair"  
That was the last time James Harold Potter ever complained about how his life went- or was. His heart was filled with the epitome of everlasting love anyone could ever with hold in single soul.

A year after James and Lily graduated James proposed in the middle of a maze that Sirius and Remus had help create so it could be perfect for Lily. 6 months afterwards they got married and about two years after that Harry James Potter was born and the rest, sadly, is history. 


End file.
